TIGER'S MARRIAGE "IRRETRIEVABLY BROKEN"

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren were officially divorced yesterday, nine months after his late-night car crash set off the revelations that he was cheating on his wife.

In the divorce papers, the marriage was described as "irretrievably broken."

Terms of the divorce were not disclosed, though TMZ reports that Elin will get $100 million. The two, who were married in 2004, will share custody of their two children.

In a joint statement, Tiger and Elin Nordegren said, "We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future."

TIGER MISTRESS DATING CELEBRITY REHAB CO-STAR

Tiger Woods isn't the only one moving on. His number-one mistress, Rachel Uchitel, is reportedly dating infamous kidnap victim Jeremy London. The two are both on the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab.

LINDSAY WANTS COMPENSATION FOR BEING LOCKED UP

Lindsay Lohan wasn't too happy after she was sentenced to jail and rehab. So now that doctors have concluded that she was misdiagnosed as bipolar and a meth addict, she's said to be "fuming." And she wants compensation or an apology for the hell she's been put through.

Lindsay's expected to be released from rehab this week.

THE SITUATION SIGNS UP FOR DANCING WITH THE STARS

The Situation has no problem making business moves. And soon we'll see how he handles dance moves. The Jersey Shore star has reportedly signed on for the next season of Dancing With the Stars.

The gig should add to his growing bank account. The Hollywood Reporter says the Sitch is expected to rake in as much as $5 million this year.

HEIDI'S GIRL-ON-GIRL VIDEO EXISTS

Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon has confirmed the existence of that sex tape featuring her and Heidi Montag. But Hugh Hefner's one-time girlfriend says she doubts that Spencer Pratt has a copy -- and if he does sell it, she's ready to take legal action.

Spencer is reportedly in talks to sell his "library" of X-rated tapes starring his soon-to-be ex wife.

CELEB QUICKIES

• Doctor Conrad Murray's involuntary-manslaughter trial in relation to the death of Michael Jackson is set to begin on January 4th, 2011.

• Jennifer Aniston is heading back to TV. She's signed on to play a shrink on pal Courteney Cox's Cougar Town. The episode airs September 22nd.

• Martin Short's wife Nancy Dolman has died. The cause of death was not released. She was 58. The couple had been married for 30 years and had three children together.

• Curb Your Enthusiasm star Cheryl Hines has filed for divorce from her husband of eight years, producer Paul Young. The couple have a six-year-old daughter, Catherine Rose.

WHO TWEETED IT?

"I read that I've just had breast implants -- happy to report still au naturel but I do wear exceptionally well cut bikinis."

A) Elizabeth Hurley
B) Halle Berry
C) Teri Hatcher