PARIS CHARGED WITH A FELONY

Paris Hilton's drug arrest has gotten a bit more serious.

The heiress has been officially charged with possession of a controlled substance, which is a felony that could land her in prison for four years.

In her defense, Paris says the baggie of coke and the purse it tumbled out of were not hers. In fact, she allegedly told friends: "It could be a setup. Everyone knows how against cocaine I am."

DANCING WITH THE STARS CAST ANNOUNCED

The new cast of Dancing With the Stars was announced last night.

The celebs who'll compete for the mirror-ball trophy starting September 20th are:

David Hasselhoff
Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino
NFL star Kurt Warner
Singer Michael Bolton
Unwed teen mom Bristol Palin
Dirty Dancing star Jennifer Grey
Brady Bunch star Florence Henderson
Hills star Audrina Patridge
Former Los Angeles Laker Rick Fox
Singer Brandy
Comedian Margaret Cho
Actor Kyle Massey

SNOOKI GETS A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

Snooki's reputed boyfriend has made her an offer she's most likely going to refuse.

Jeff Miranda has proposed. But the Iraq War vet -- whose relationship with the Jersey Shore star has never been confirmed -- didn't get down on one knee. He posed shirtless on the cover of a New York entertainment magazine alongside the words "Will you marry me?" Whaddya say, Snooks?

LINDSAY PULLED OVER

It took Lindsay Lohan just two days on the road before she got pulled over by police.

The former jailbird, who got her license back the day after her release from rehab, was stopped Friday night for reportedly running a stop sign in West Hollywood. But it was her lucky day -- she was let go with only a warning. LiLo, whose troubles began because of two DUI's in 2007, had her license suspended before she got locked up in July.

JANUARY JONES NOT READY TO BARE ALL FOR SNL STAR

Maybe SNL's Jason Sudeikis [pr: se-day-kiss] isn't the luckiest guy in the world.

Last week, he seemingly confirmed that he's dating January Jones when he claimed he had seen her in the buff. But the Mad Men star tells People magazine, "He's never seen me naked, nor will he after those comments."

KATE GOSSELIN WANTS TO BE AN ACTRESS

Kate Gosselin is ready to ditch reality TV.

A source tells PopEater.com, "Kate has made her mind up that she's going to be an actress and hopes her new profession will result in her finding a new man." The insider says, "The show she would really like to be cast in is Mad Men."

CELEB QUICKIES

• Tiger Woods moved into his new bachelor pad -- a New York City apartment -- over the weekend.

• Sunday night's Emmys had its highest ratings in four years. The 13.5 million people who tuned in gave the show the biggest audience for any non-sports telecast since the American Idol season finale in May.

• Will Forte is out. But Saturday Night Live has added three new cast members -- Taran Killam, Paul Brittain and Vanessa Bayer.

WHO SAID IT?

"I'll be a nice judge, but if I don't like what they do I will tell them to give up on their dreams."
A) Paul Rudd (to MTV News)
B) Steven Tyler
C) Jack Black