PARIS BLACKBALLED FROM VEGAS RESORTS

What happens in Vegas can get you kicked out of Vegas.

That's what Paris Hilton has learned after being banned from the Sin City resorts Wynn and Encore because of her recent drug bust. Her boyfriend, nightclub exec Cy Waits, got it even worse -- he was fired from Wynn Las Vegas. After police pulled over the couple last week, they were taken inside the Wynn, where it was discovered that Paris had cocaine in her purse.

SPEIDI SEX TAPE WON'T BE RELEASED

Heidi Montag's porn career is over before it even began.

Heidi and Spencer Pratt have called off negotiations to sell the Speidi sex tapes. According to a letter sent to Vivid Entertainment, Heidi had no interest in releasing the tapes, and "Spencer's not interested in further destroying their relationship by pursuing an avenue she's so vehemently against."

DANCING WITH THE STARS PAIRINGS ANNOUNCED

The Dancing With the Stars celebs have their dance partners.

The Situation will get to cha cha with Karina Smirnoff...David Hasselhoff will strut his stuff with Kym Johnson...Bristol Palin will hit the dance floor with two-time champ Mark Ballas...Audrina Patridge will tango with Tony Dovolani...and Jennifer Grey will dirty dance with Derek Hough. (For the full list of pairings, click here.) The season premieres on September 20th.

We know who's dancing with whom, but how much are the stars getting paid? All the contestants get $125,000 regardless of when they're eliminated. Then it's $10,000 each for episodes three and four, $20,000 for each of the two episodes after that, $30,000 each for the next two episodes, and $50,000 for appearing in the last two episodes.

CONAN NAMES NEW SHOW

Conan O'Brien had months to name his new TBS show, and this is what he came up with: Conan. In a video announcement, he says, "Simple, pure, like the man himself."

Conan will premiere November 8th at 11 p.m.

KIM IS NO PARIS

Her former bestie Paris Hilton was recently arrested for cocaine possession, but Kim Kardashian says that'll never happen to her.

She tells Jay Leno that she stays out of trouble because "I've never been a drinker. I've never gotten into drugs. My sisters do enough drinking to kind of fill up the whole family."

TIGER BUILDING MEGA-BACHELOR PAD

Tiger Woods is building the mother of all bachelor pads.

The golfer, whose divorce was finalized just last week, has taken out a $54 million mortgage for a super-mansion he's building in Florida. The estate will boast a tennis court, oxygen therapy room and multiple pools. A $54 million mansion can hold a lot of mistresses.

CELEB PIC OF THE DAY: Demi Moore

Apparently 47 is the new 14. Mimicking an attention-starved teen, Demi Moore snapped some sexy pics of herself from her bathroom mirror -- and then posted them on Twitter.

CELEB QUICKIES

• Dr. Oz had a health scare recently. He underwent a routine colonoscopy as part of the show that will start the new season and his doctor found a pre-cancerous growth. It was removed.

• Full House star Jodie Sweetin gave birth to her second child, a girl named Beatrix, Tuesday. This is her first child with boyfriend Morty Coyle. She has a two-year-old daughter with ex-husband Cody Herpin.

• Nicolas Cage has reportedly settled his lawsuit with the accountant he claims ruined his finances. Terms of the settlement were not disclosed.

WHO TWEETED IT?

"Someone just explained to me that I don't get paid for tweeting. I'm going to miss you guys."

A) Joan Rivers
B) Conan O'Brien
C) Jimmy Fallon